The following items were put on the net as Jokes or satires, and are so dumb that I am amazed that anyone could be fooled by them. If you are one of those people, I apologize, but come on people; get real!
Some other places to look for real sounding but fake stories (a.k.a. satire) include:
July 1999
The following joke would have you believe that you can take a picture with your computer monitor. DUH! It is called a monitor for a reason. The website actually exists and gives you the picture you deserve for believing this. Note that the Magic Camera has moved to http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Acres/3072/camera1.html. Check it out for yourself.
This is scary. See where technology is taking us now.
Go to http://sites.netscape.net/zumaltsp/camera1.html and get a
picture of yourself right through your monitor. This is Big Brother
at its best or worst. Imagine what they have already seen.....
Microsoft has developed this technology that dot dithers your screen
to act as a camera receptacle. As you will see, the beta web site
captures your image just as if you had the computer connected to a
video cam. This technology may have been around for months and
installed on web sites without our knowledge or permission. If so,
those web sites are capturing images of you unaware as you view
your monitor.
September 2001
This message gives a new meaning to vaporware. Maybe this could be a new, fast erase function for a hard drive. Just push the button, flash - bang, and the drive is erased. Of course there is the problem that you just erased a whole city block along with your drive.
Hi guys. I just got this in the mail, from Symantec, so I thought I'd forward it along. It's a new virus that we should watch out for. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Virus Update, 1/22/00 Symantec Virus Alert Center Hello Subscriber, As part of our ongoing effort to keep Symantec clients up to date on virus alerts, this e-mail is being sent to all Symantec subscribers. A new, deadly type of virus has been detected in the wild. You should not open any message entitled "LAUNCH NUCLEAR STRIKE NOW", as this message has been programmed to access NORAD computers in Colorado and launch a full-scale nuclear strike on Russia and the former Soviet states. Apparently, a disgruntled ex-Communist hacker has designed a pernicious VBScript that actually bypasses the U.S. arsenal's significant security system and takes command of missiles and bombers directly. By opening the e-mail, you may be causing Armageddon. Needless to say, Armageddon will wipe out your hard drive and damage your computer. Again, we warn you, PLEASE, DO NOT OPEN ANY E-MAIL ENTITLED "LAUNCH NUCLEAR STRIKE NOW". YOU MAY CAUSE A FULL-SCALE NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST. As a precaution, all U.S. nuclear missiles have been set to "Do Not Authorize Launch Via E-Mail" to prevent an accidental armageddon. However, due to a Y2K bug, the possibility still exists that you may end life as we know it on this planet by opening the aforementioned e-mail. VIRUS NAME: ArmaGeddyLee, HappyOrMaybeNot00, OopsWrongButton00 TRANSMITTAL METHOD: VBScript attached to e-mail HAZARD: Extremely Super High AREA OF INFECTION: Detected in wild CHARACTERISTICS: Destroys life on earth via nuclear armageddon Please forward this warning to everyone you can. Thank you for your attention to this matter, Sincerely, The Symantec Anti-Virus Team
September 2001
Bonsai Kittens??? It's a joke son!!! Someone saw this joke site, thought it was real, and started circulating an Internet petition. While the cats in the pictures don't look too happy being stuffed into jars to have their pictures taken I have seen cats climb into jars and other small places like that all on their own. Besides that, an Internet petition has no validity whatsoever and is a waste to pass around.
To anyone with love and respect for life: In New York there is a Japanese who sells "bonsai-kittens". Sounds like fun huh? NOT! These animals are squeezed into a bottle. Their urine and faeces are removed through probes. They feed them with a kind of tube. They feed them chemicals to keep their bones soft and flexible so the kittens grow into the shape of the bottle. The animals will stay their as long as they live. They can't walk or move or wash themselves. Bonsai-kittens are becoming a fashion in New York and Asia. See this horror at: http://www.bonsaikitten.com Please sign this email in protest against these tortures. If you receive an email with over 500 names, please send a copy to: xxxxxx@hotmail.com From there this protest will be sent to USA and Mexican animal protection organizations. If you send this to your friends: Use the copy & paste method in an NEW email to keep this readable....
May 2002
This official looking site is supposed to look up your records at the FBI. Go ahead, try it, put in any name or number and you get the following page: FBI Records Search. Check out the picture. Recognize that person?
Subject: This real! I checked with our Police before doing it! You can check to see if the FBI has ever had a file on you. I was shocked to see that there was a file on me!!! Just double-click on the site and put in the state in which you were born and your name, You don't have to use your Social Security Number, just check "All States." If more than one match is found they will ask for a year of birth to narrow the search. You will get the case number, date of investigation and any photos on file. It's a free site, but I'm told it will be closed soon due to a federal court order. Here's the site: http://www.policeguide.com/cgi-bin/criminal-search
May 2002
This one is too stupid to be anything but a joke.
EMERGENCY: EVERYONE IS NOW FORBIDDEN OUTSIDE DUE TO THE LATEST FORM OF RABIES WHICH IS TRANSMITTED THROUGH WHAT SOME PEOPLE REFER TO AS "THAT NICE COUNTRY BREEZE" OR "FRESH AIR". IF YOU BREATHE THE CONTAMINATED AIR IN WHICH THE DISEASE RESDIDES, YOU WILL CONTRACT AN UNTREATABLE FORM OF RABIES THAT CAN BE SPREAD EVEN THROUGH SHAKING HANDS. HOW TO RECOGNIZE CONTAMINATED AIR: IT WILL HAVE A FRESH, MINTY SCENT AND WILL LOOK LIKE A SMALL WISP OF FOG. GERMS FROM THESE WISPS HAVE BEEN TESTED BY ONE SCIENTIST, DR. JONATHAN HAMBEL, AND, THOUGH HE CONTRACTED THE VIRUS AND DIED, HIS NOTES HAD HIS THEORY OF WHERE IT CAME FROM. "THE FOG-LIKE WISPS HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN MANY SHAPES, BUT THE MOST COMMON IS A VAGUELY DISTINGUISHABLE EGG-SHAPED CLOUD OF WHAT APPEARS TO LOOK LIKE FOG." SCRIBBLED ON A POST-IT NOTE THAT WAS FOUND IN HIS POCKET WHILE HE DIED EN-ROUTE TO HIS LAB WERE THE WORDS, "EGG FOG CAME FROM BERMUDA TRIANGLE". MANY PLANES, UPON HAVING FLOWN INTO AN EGG-SHAPED CLOUD IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE, HAVE MYSTERIOUSLY DIASAPPEARED. IT IS BELIEVED THAT THESE CLOUDS HAVE CARRIED A DUST GERM FROM AFRICA, AND, WHEN MIXED WITH THESE STRANGE BERMUDA TRIANGLE EGG CLOUDS, ARE CAPABLE OF KILLING SOMEONE VERY SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS. PLEASE FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS: 1. TRY NOT TO GO OUTSIDE, BUT WHEN YOU MUST, WEA A MASK 2. WARN EVERYONE OF THIS DISEASE VIA ANY WAY OF MEDIA 3. DO NOT WALK INTO AN EGG-SHAPED CLOUD OF FOG AND BREATHE DEEPLY
August 2003
So you want to be a supermodel? Someone has access to Photoshop or a similar picture editing program and way too much time on their hands.
Wanna be a supermodel?
February 2004
This website is supposed to have your passport information on it. Go there if you want. See if the passport photo looks like you. This site even works for people who don't have a passport.
--- Here is a problem This may come as a shock , but I have been directed to a website that holds passport and id details. Unreal thing is that anyone can access other people's personal info. So, I can look at your passport and id details and look up personal information. I don't know how they have got the information but I've removed my profile. I strongly suggest you all do the same. The website address http://www.humnri.com/enter/passport
July 2004
A quick look at the link in the message should give you a hint that this is a joke. Go ahead, click it, it doesn't bite (much).
Subject: Bureau of Entertainment Executive Rights Case No.: RG38751 Illegal Music Downloads Bureau of Entertainment Executive Rights 7/19/2004 1:44:46 PM Toni M LAN No.: #4B-13XC4798220 Computer ID: HP9810-XK-Q63 Case No.: RG38751 Ms. M, Recent documents received by this bureau indicate you have been involved in the unauthorized downloading and transferring of licensed music. Federal laws mandate that you immediately cease and desist all illegal activities pertaining to music theft. Further, you are required by law to pay all incurred penalties in conjunction with Amendment 34-C, officially passed on March 10, 2003. In accordance with state jurisdictions, your failure to pay these penalties in full within 30 days of receipt of this notice will result in a warrant for your arrest. We are also required by law to inform you that a second offense will result in a minimum jail sentence of 90 days. Penalties incurred in your particular case may be reviewed on our government Web site. All cases are deemed confidential. Penalties are assessed by each individual download, charged at a nonnegotiable rate of $1,200 per infraction. Click your specific case number (Case No.: RG38751) http://www.liquidgeneration.com/riaa.aspx?oct8hznpxtf6imuu to view the total amount due or to dispute your case. Sincerely, Jay Roth U.S. Agent Bureau of Entertainment Executive Rights Case No.: RG38751
June 2005
This one is not really a hoax or a joke but a work of Internet art. I apologize to the creator for putting it here with the Jokes but it does not fit anywhere else. It is more a work of science fiction where the artist, Virgil Wong, explores a hospital of the future where gene therapy, nanotechnology, and male pregnancy are sold using thick, corporate rhetoric. The website is a slick, corporate, sales pitch for therapies of the future with some possibly questionable ethics.
Learn more about the author and his projects at: http://www.virgilwong.com
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